I’ve always had trouble with time. What to do with it, how to manage it and, most of all, how to savor it.

During the lockdown, time has been especially slippery. At first the days ran together but gradually weekday and weekend routines have emerged, like Zoom meet-ups with family on Saturday night.

Generally, though, not much has changed for Chris. He has always worked alone and so he’s been able to stick to his schedule. He just completed a book he started in October (It’s great. I just read it.), and is working on finishing up another, while still finding time to take in 3-5 hours daily of free opera from the Met.

But I’ve experience displacement behavior and dissatisfaction with how I’m using my time.

I was struck, while listening to a podcast, by a researcher’s comment that people felt happier with their use of time when they paused to reflect during the day. These people had a feeling of expansion of time—or at least expressed more satisfaction with how they used their time.

I recognized I do this with my writing, painting and walking. Occasionally with meditation. Yet I often feel fear about the future and regret over the past. (I get that’s normal, but I wouldn’t mind feeling less of it.)

Chris pauses to reflect in his image-a-day diary. He plans out the next day in the bath the night before. While he keeps almost obsessive track of time and, basically, everything, he does relish time and he gets a lot done.

Although we both have outlets to reflect, mine are more haphazard. I like to wander on a whim, to act on inspiration, to write in my blog when I feel like it. It’s fine, we’re different, it’s okay, yet lately I’ve been wishing I could feel a more expansive sense of time.

So I’ve decided to try an experiment—like legendary athlete Jim Thorpe, who (possibly apocryphally) tried to mimic a toddler’s every movement for a day—and conform to Chris’ schedule for a week. I want to see if the way he uses time could help me feel more relaxed in time.

When will I get another chance, other than during a pandemic?

Next week, I’ll report back.